The Proactive Twelve Steps


1. I get it. What I’ve been doing is self-destructive. I need to change.

2. I see the big picture: The way to stop relapsing into self-destructive behaviors is to build a healthier sense of self.

3. I have an action plan: From now on, I am squarely facing everything that is in the way of feeling satisfied with my life.

4. I honestly look at the effects of my actions on others and myself.

5. I take responsibility for my actions.

6. I see that my knee-jerk reactions have to do with being in the grip of more or less conscious fears.

7. I strive to find my motivation in a deeper sense of who I really am, rather than fear and defensiveness.

8. I stop blaming and feeling blamed, with a willingness to heal the wounds.

9. I swallow my pride, and sincerely apologize to people I’ve hurt, except when this would be counterproductive.

10. I live mindfully, paying attention to the motives and effects of my actions.

11. I stay in touch with a broader sense of who I really am, and a deeper sense of what I really want.

12. A growing sense of wholeness and contentment motivates me to keep at it, and to share this process with others who are struggling.